Scrolling through my stats, I noticed a large increase in the number of visitors from France (mostly coming from the link on the Wired Magazine’s 2007 Sexiest Geeks.) I also tracked back some of the visitors to the article pictured below. I’ve included a paraphrased translation below, just incase you can’t read like a zillion foreign languages like I can, cuz of my 6 years+ of linguistically diverse university education (not that it’s a big deal or anything):
Every year Wired magazine organizes a small contest, allowing the public to elect the the hottest “geekette” of the year. It’s obviously on a purely informative and instructive basis that I have deligated this important information even with a capital : P Note that to be as complete as possible, I am also under an obligation to illustrate this news with a few clichés: (cue picture of me and lovely, uber tech-celebrity, iJustine.)
Youch. That’s gotta burn. I guess I’m the clichéd Brunette Geekette. Just another attention seeking, no-talent wannabe lookin’ for a sweet piece of the iCeleb pie. right? she doesn’t even play WOW. how can sheeeeeee call her self a geek! I bet she can’t even find the Terminal on her MB. Loser. ugh, and I bet she looks like an old hag without all that Photoshopping.
I’ve tried to prove my geekiness, but the French aren’t biting. you know what Gordon Ramsay would say about the French and it would have a loooot of swears in it.
I guess it’s a good thing I have such rock-solid self-esteem. *starting to tear up* I’m not a sexy geek cliché? Am I? *looks down at mismatched socks, reaches for her favourite robot, watches the red lights flicker in his emotionless eyes* “Who am i?” I ask the robot: “I am the atomic pilot robot. Please give my best wishes to everybody.” That’s nice.
I really want to be an original geekette. So I need your help! You’re geeky right? Yeah… totally. You’re staring at your Futurama box set… boba fett figurine…Xbox for the 10th hour… fueled only by candy, crisps, Dr. Pepper & Red Bulls… I just know it. So please give me 3 tips to make me an uber l33t geek!
Christina
January 30, 2008 at 5:52 AMTo this day I hate my father’s business partner because when he came in to where I worked to buy a digital camera (my dad told him that I knew my shit and I’d help him out), he was condescending and assholish about the fact that me, a girl, might actually know what the hell I was talking about.
Actually, I would hear that all the time — “are you sure you know about this” — and then after seeing all the males at the store coming to me for technical answers and support, it would go into this, “wow, I can’t believe you know so much” crap. It was always amusing to see the people who refused my offer for help because they wanted to talk to “the guy” try to get back into my good graces after realizing that “the guy” was relying on me for support/guidance/information and that I was the only one who actually knew what the hell I was talking about.
GRR.
Oh, and the French dude can suck it!
Dennis Bjørn Petersen
January 30, 2008 at 5:54 AMJoin the forum at Digital Point and criticise anyone talking about Microsoft or Windows Vista. Tell them Ubuntu is much better and spell Micro$oft or M$.
Link to the new Star Trek movie site and analyse the teaser trailer. Say that Entreprise was built on Earth in San Francisco and not in Utopia Planitia on Mars. Argue that JJ Abrams viral marketing is awesome and if you watch the “building starship Enterprise”-webcams for 12 hours every day and you think you saw a Klingon behind one of the welders. (QAPLAH)
Go back to the Digital Point forum and tear the n00b, who just responded to your latest M$ rant, a new one. Let a few more people post to make sure the topic or thread gets totally off subject and become a personal smear campaign (similar to American politics) and then ask people to settle down and get back on topic again.
Do that everyday and you are well on the way. I see people do it all the time ;)
GoOrange
January 30, 2008 at 6:33 AMLisa,
Sorry to hear about your cliché status. Don’t worry, there’s still hope! Here are three tips.
1. Image. The glam-shots detract from geek cred. The hardest of the hard core geeks are usually a bit behind on the personal grooming curve and too many pictures that look like a Cosmo cover can alienate you from the ubergeeks. Shoot for the “cute” look, and geek it up with a ThinkGeek t-shirt like “There’s no place like 127.0.0.1”.
2. Skills. Being a polyglot is very admirable and illustrates your intelligence, but it doesn’t necessarily scream “geek”. Most geeks in the US aren’t terribly impressed by someone with an excellent command of romance languages. Now, learn some phrases in Klingon or Tolkien’s Elvish and you’re getting somewhere. Alternatively, resort to programming languages and rant about why Pascal was the greatest thing since sliced bread. Use more pseudo html code when blogging.
3. Anecdotes. When it really comes time to pull the gloves off for geek status, start bragging about your WoW character. Give detailed stats and full equipment lists and how you made the Kessel run in under…err, nevermind. If that doesn’t work, regale them with tales of your last pen and paper RPG character. There is a danger though, as too much dice talk could alienate the pure tech geeks so be careful.
I hope these tips will help to cement your status as a bona-fide geek both here in North America and overseas.
Good luck!
-Jeff
Christina
January 30, 2008 at 7:15 AMOh, in terms of actual stuff you can do to prove just how l33t you really are, here are some suggestions:
1. When talking about your Mac, make sure you mention some stuff about BSD and running MacPorts, Darwine and Fink. Consider telling people you dual-boot Debian (not Ubuntu, there is nothing l33t about Ubuntu – sorry, there isn’t. It’s a good distro but it’s Mickey Mouse. Use straight Debian, not the one trying to convert the masses for true l33t effect). Don’t worry, you don’t have to actually do this, just tell people you do.
2. Reminisce about the good ‘ol days from USENET, where you actually had to have a barrier of entry to get shit done.
3. Make references to learning/expanding knowledge of server side coding. Buzz words like Ruby on Rails, SVN, AJAX and debating the merits of PHP as a viable platform, or just something we are stuck with because of its ubiquity.
See, now that was easy.
jon deal
January 30, 2008 at 8:49 AM1. I agree with Christina, install Fink and start running “ethereal” to analyze your local ‘net for dropped packets. Post the results and how you fixed the problem. In detail, complete with SYNCs and ACKs.
2. Learn Regular Expressions and start hacking your apache install. And after you do that, please teach me Regular Expressions, because they make my teeth ache.
3. Install linux on your toaster. You can’t be a *real* geek unless you have installed linux on some device where it probably shouldn’t live. :-]
Duane Storey
January 30, 2008 at 9:23 AMI think you should just start making fun of baguettes and poutine on a regular basis now.
bloggernoob
January 30, 2008 at 4:19 PMhottie alert!!!!
Nate
January 30, 2008 at 7:25 PM1) Play an MMORPG. WoW is old so I suggest you wait for Conan or Warhammer.
2) Ubuntu is not noob and I do believe it would be a good starting point to raise your geek level.
3)Custom build your own computerz
Good luck Lisa… Your fate with the French is at stake here.
crunchy carpets
January 30, 2008 at 8:58 PMI dunno…being told that perhaps you are too hot to be a geek is ok right?
You should have worn glasses…down on your nose.
Mostly Lisa
January 31, 2008 at 5:56 AMwow! thanks for all those uber l33t comments. gimme a day or two to figure out what all you real geeks are saying before i make a complete arse outta myself replying to your comments.
i’m thinking these reply need something super special. a video perhaps. i will talk to Christina on the hazards of sticking macaroni up my nose.
Mostly Lisa » Blog Archive » My French is rubbish
February 1, 2008 at 4:39 AM[…] I just received an email from Sebastien Petain, the editor in chief of BH Mag.FR, the website that published this article directing readers to vote for Wired’s sexiest geek. When I translated the article, I was a bit chuffed as I thought the author was describing me as a cliché and wrote a bit of a ranty post aboot it. […]