A Story about Chichen Itza

I finally got round to flickring my photos of Chichen Itza, the “large pre-Columbian archaeological site built by the Maya civilization located in the northern center of the Yucatán Peninsula, in the Yucatán state, present-day Mexico” says Wikipedia. Now, I’ll look it up in my $150 university art history book to make sure that’s right (the very same one that I took for light reading on my first trip to England to seem “cultured”.)

Oh wow. I’m actually reading a book. It feels weird and unnatural. I can’t scroll. Ack! I have to turn these big heavy pages. Ug. So apparently Chichen Itza means “at the mouth of the well of the Itza”, and has nothing to do with the Leaning Tower of Pisa, but rhymes nicely with pizza. Hmm… there are only 3 paragraphs about Chichen Itza in this 1167 page book! What a jerk! I guess we will just have to rely on the web as our guide to this weird and wacky Mayan world.

The massive and awe-inspiring Mesoamerican pyramid in the middle of the site is called el Castillo or the Temple of Kukulkan.

El Castillo was built by the Maya Civilization somewhere between 11th and 13th century AD when *the Decepticons first came to earth.

The massive structure is guarded by these crazy man-eating alligators. Well, actually they are supposed to be serpents, but I called them alligators on flickr, then felt sheepish, so I changed the title to “Mean Slytherin Dudes”. PS. I also spelled serpent, ‘serpant’. Sir Pant! So regal.

Right after the Decepticons came to earth and built the pyramids, an *alien race of evil cats called “los Gatos Malignos” ruled the Mayan empire with an iron fish! I mean fist!

According to *archeologists, Mayan youths were quite rambunctious and would let off steam before the “virgin sacrifices” by drawing rude graffiti on the temple walls.

While visiting this new Wonder of the World, I felt moved to perform a feat of agility.

As a result of performing this feat of agility, I was 8 minutes late for the bus back to the hotel, which angered and greatly annoyed my ever punctual mother. She wouldn’t even speak to me for like half an hour.

To make matters worse, I climbed this pyramid model at the hotel and made Gozilla noises for an embarrassingly long length of time. She was not amused, but I felt that this was an important step in my self-growth as an adult.

If you want more Mostly Lisa fun, check out my video of my Chichen Itza adventure.

*details may have been exaggerated or completely made up for the purposes of sarcasm and/or humour.