The Scene: I walk into my local wifi-friendly coffee shop pull out my Macbook and sit down. It takes me 30 seconds to zone into internet land and fire up transmission *ahem* the iTunes store. Another 30 seconds pass. Tap tap on my shoulder.
Guy: So are Macs really all that?
Me: Uhh… [glances at MB. notes it’s uberness] Yeah. Uh.. [shrugs]
Guy: Yeah, cuz I’ve seen them around. So I guess you use them. Macs [pause] eh?
Me: Yeah. They are great for what I do. I’m a blogger, media…
Guy: I’ve heard of Blogs.
Me: [looking for large mallet-shaped object]
Guy: Are you on myspace?
Fail. I bet you don’t think it’s possible to beat the finesse and wit of this pick-up line. Well it is. Check out the Best Pick-up Line Ever.
Adso
April 2, 2008 at 6:43 PMHi Lisa!
Greetings from Peru, recently I read your blog and I like very much ;-). In my town is a bit unusual to see people with a Mac in an area wifi and more if a woman is beautiful, I said something like:
“This must be my day Zen, I see that the union of beauty and intelligence is not a utopia”
Have a good day on the other side of the monitor.
Regards
Adso
Mitchell
April 2, 2008 at 7:02 PMYou should have gone all geek on him.
“Actually, Macs are THE shiznit. Note the sleekness macbook? See the screen? It’s crystal clear. It has a rather large resolution for a screen this size. It also has x amount of gigs, so it’s real easy to run photoshop or illustrator or any other adobe product. Do you use adobe? I love adobe. I really think that photoshop cs3’s new animation feature needs to be upgraded, don’t you? Wow, it was really great talking to you. Are you on pownce? Twitter? Facebook? I’m practically all over the internet, I’m sure you’ll find me. Kbye!”
And throw in a plethora of other nerdspeak lingo. Plethora. Yeeah.
ray
April 2, 2008 at 7:25 PMYou’ve got some great hardware.
Chris Magnusson
April 2, 2008 at 9:37 PM“You’ve got some great hardware.”
Hardware schmardware. It’s the software that counts. ;-)
Dennis Bjørn Petersen
April 2, 2008 at 10:57 PMI’ve got a PC and this has never happened to me… So get yourself a PC and you’ll miss all the good pickup lines.
PS: I’ve returned my PC laptop and buying myself a MacBook Pro, all I need is a café with wifi.
I’ll test it on my wife first though ;)
Luc
April 2, 2008 at 11:55 PMI think that you simply felt offended that he admired your MB instead of your, what’s the line, eyes.
Peter
April 3, 2008 at 3:52 AM/nerd in
Asking out of curiousity here (no bashing), how are macs better for blogging? Or photoshop/media work?
The only two pieces of software I can think of (I’m no expert, so pardon any ignorance) I can think of that I would want for macs-only are Final Cut Pro and Aperture. And still, Lightroom (cross platoform) is closing in on Aperture.
/nerd out
Nate
April 3, 2008 at 5:48 AMHe should’ve known that you’re way too good for myspace.
Rey
April 3, 2008 at 6:06 AMHe did not ask if you have a myspace: that is SO 2006.
Josh Schnell
April 3, 2008 at 7:12 AMI probably would have had a hard time not laughing in his face… if I were you… some people’s kids!
Nate
April 3, 2008 at 8:46 AMBeing a woman must be obnoxious. I love being able to go around without the risk that anyone except homeless people will solicit me for something, and with them it’s only pocket change.
Duane Storey
April 3, 2008 at 9:57 AMYou need to have more fun with stuff like that.
guy: “Is that a Mac”
you: “No, it’s not”
guy: “But it has an Apple sign on it?”
you: “Yah, it’s a common misconception. It just means I like fruit.”
guy: “Are you on myspace?”
you: “Yah, but all the photos on there are before my operation.”
Neil
April 3, 2008 at 12:25 PMSo if the geek-speak line works and you find yourself at his geek pad, make sure you have your mace ready if you see this door chain on the back of his door.
Neil
April 3, 2008 at 1:07 PMOh, and one last product plug… in case the geek-date goes really well, no self respecting blogger babe should be without this fantastic product: Pteq – USB Pregnancy Test! ;)
Rebecca
April 3, 2008 at 1:58 PMI got approached at McCarran Airport in Las Vegas because of my Mac. A man with his MacBook just wanted to sit at my table and geek out with a fellow Mac-head. He and his wife have a business in Washington, DC and he’s got 3 kids and – – then I had to catch my plane.
Mostly Lisa
April 3, 2008 at 11:27 PM@Pasquale — blog. hmm. currently, i’m thinking of streaming my sleep. i’ll call it the ZZZ-Log or Zlog for short.
@Adso — Soy tan triste aprender que no hay mujeres hermosas que tienen una computadora del mac con wifi en su país. ¿Debo planear una visita a Perú?
@Mitchell — plethora is almost my most favouritest word ever. i also like discombobulation. i presented it as my “D-word” in my grade 3 spelling class. i draw a picture of a confused raccoon on poster board to accompany my presentation. it received mixed reviews.
and next time i’ll just start listing all the apps on my MB starting with A. Address book, Adium, Adobe Acrobat 7.0 Professional, Adobe Web Premium…
@ray — i’m not being cocky or nuthin’, but yeah, i’ve got some pretty sweet shizz.
@Chris — i’ve got that too. perfect package of hard and soft..wear…
(short break while i do a wee bit o work)
Dan
April 4, 2008 at 1:53 AMHahaha, that’s amazing… “I’ve heard of blogs” I bet he thought that was his clincher. You should have just said “Well done, most of the civilised world has… welcome.”
He’s probably reading this now… crying into his mocha.
Mostly Lisa
April 4, 2008 at 2:44 AM@Dennis — MB Pro, FTW! Just you wait, Macs bring out all kind of sexiness. quick book a romantic weekend with your wife and the MB Pro and watch the magic begin.
@Luc — i would prefer that. then maybe he’d talk to my MB and not me.
@Peter — OS X pwns Vista visually. plus for basic blogging the iLife series makes it super easy to edit your photos, make basic movies, and podcasts. Final Cut is the bomb for video editing. i haven’t used Aperture, but i’ve heard it’s pretty ace.
PS woulda been nerdier if you closed with
@Nate — i think the snarl on my face told him as much.
@Rey — so 2004 you mean.
@Josh — i was more genuinely puzzled than LOLing.
(need some cornflakes, back in a jiff)
Mostly Lisa
April 4, 2008 at 3:17 AM@Nate — obnoxious wouldn’t be the first word i’d use to describe being a woman, but i’ll go with it if you’re game.
@Duane — nice one. i’ll practice that one in front of a mirror.
ok must sleep…zzzz
Victor Agreda Jr
April 4, 2008 at 4:06 AMI teach a class at a tech college and I had a student look at my MBP and say “Is that a Mac?” Instantly I knew this was my *best* student evar, so I said “uh yeah.” Now, I’ve been using Apple computers since 1977 (no kidding) and I happen to run TUAW, and his next question got me: “are they any good?” Pretty much same reaction you had: “uh, yeah, not bad…” FAIL. The kid doesn’t attend his classes. Double fail.
fotoeins
April 4, 2008 at 9:12 AMOh wow, you blog?
Pick-up questions to last an eternity …
Pero después Perú, que piensas en el resto del Sur?
Matt
April 4, 2008 at 9:16 AMAnd @Peter…dude….really? Really? It would be and
Lisa – Run a list of lines that have actually worked. (Not that I’ll be taking notes or anything.) How about this one: Can I have your name? I’m Twittering about the hottest girl ever and I need details. (It’s a line right, so it HAS to be cheeeeeesy.)
Mostly Lisa
April 5, 2008 at 12:19 AM@Neil — zoink. that door chain is off the hook! and i do canoodle a lot with my Macs. best check that they haven’t impregnated me. half human… half mac… could be the coolest hydrid ever. sorry too much BSG.
@Rebecca — the Married Mac pick up. sweet.
@Pasquale — zlog zoink.
@Dan — lol. cryin’ in his half fat no-sugar mochaccino…
@Victor — ooh snap. double fail. i was TAing this 3rd year Sociolinguistic course… real waffly nonsense, and a group of students brought in some “translating devices” that were basically mini laptops and i knew they were cheating on the exam, but the teacher let it go and i just sat there and watched them cheat away. when i brought the papers home to mark i went right to the cheaters’ paper and laughed. they were all completely illegible and made no sense and i had to fail them. translating-cheating device double fail!
PS. Hi-5 to TUAW! tis uber.
@fotoeins — muy bien… sorry i’m a bit low on sass… nearing the end of a long long. week.
@Matt — hmm the inclusion of twitter in a pick-up line may grant you a few more seconds before shut down… but the cheese will get you no where my friend. no where.
michael wilson
April 5, 2008 at 6:29 AMSo when are you marrying the guy?????????
Matt
April 7, 2008 at 9:10 AMYou know you love the cheese.
Roland Hulme
April 7, 2008 at 9:18 AMSmoooooooooooth.
At least it’s good to know there are men with lamer chat up lines than me! The best part of being married is knowing you don’t have to go through all that again.
Mostly Lisa
April 7, 2008 at 3:37 PM@Pasquale — zip.
@michael — check my status on faceboooooooook! zomg.
@Matt — sure do. goudaaa ftw!
@Roland — smooth like parmesan! oh wait?? parmesan’s all lumpy and hard. exactly.
Tiffanie
April 8, 2008 at 7:19 PMBeing a girl rocks -If only because we can recount the cheesey lines we get. My fave -all time. Sitting in the college lobby area, balancing my checkbook with my calculator; graphing, natch.
Guy: So…are you doing, like, math?
Me: Umm..sure.
Guy: That’s cool? Can I get your digits?
Me: umm.. No.
It must have been my “I Love Nerds” t-shirt that made him think Math was the way to my heart. :)
Chris Magnusson
April 8, 2008 at 7:32 PM@Tiffanie Surely the middle digit would worked. ;-)
Mostly Lisa
April 9, 2008 at 2:41 AM@Tiffanie — so happy to see a female commenting on my blog. it’s a rare treat these days. and it doesn’t get much worse than “Can i get your digits?” lame.
@Chris — oh snap! that one made me laugh out loooooud.
Tiffanie
April 9, 2008 at 5:35 AM@Lisa – us girls have to stick 2gether :) Especially the geeky girls.
@Chris – that is a good comeback. As with all comebacks; wish I had thought of it then.
Raul
April 14, 2008 at 11:26 AMHey, guys get cheesy lines all the time too :) At least I do. And not only from guys, from girls too.
[Me geeking out at local downtown Vancouver coffee shop]
Girl.- “Do you know anything about Facebook”
Me.- “Ummm… no, sorry I don’t. I am not on Facebook”.
Her.- “Hey you want to go salsa dancing this Friday?”
Me.- (a bit surprised) “Sure, I dance salsa, but I’m kinda busy this weekend”
Her.- “Well, it could be like a date, you know?”
Me.- “Um… I date boys, sorry”
Her.- “I’m sure I can convert you”.
Me.- “….”
@ Tiffanie – geeky girls RULE!!!! And MostlyLisa.com rules too! :)
Raul
April 16, 2008 at 9:55 PMSorry for being a conversation stopper, Lisa :( I left a comment and nobody else did :(
Scuba Steve
April 18, 2008 at 10:37 AMThis is not a pick up line but I am a scuba diver. Being in Vancouver, I am sure you can picture the way people look with all that gear on….it is amazing the number of people that walk up:
Them – Are you a scuba diver?
Me – No I just find I lose more weight wearing neoprene and lugging heavy weights and tanks around when I go for a jog. Here is your sign.
It is amazing some people’s brains generate enough power to move their feet.
Andrew
April 22, 2008 at 10:00 AMI’ve got a good pick-up line. I’ve never used it – but may do if required…
“Excuse me, have you just farted? Because you’ve blown me away.”
And then we get married and live happily ever after…