Posts Tagged ‘Life’

What kind of Geek are you?

Jan 9 2008
Lisa eyeware red

 

Photo by Darryl Humphrey.

 

I can’t say I’ve always relished in people saying, “Wow Lisa, you are suuuuch a geek.” Which has happened quite a lot in my life. Especially in high school when being smart was stupid and the term “geek” sounded a lot like “you’re super lame but i’ll cheat off in science class”. Back then, even an allegiance to apple computers lead to harrassment and even disiplinary action, like when I was 8 years-old and I got kicked out of computer camp for slagging off PCs and refusing to use one.

But now the world is starting to recognize the power of the geek and the sex appeal of a smart geeky female with a Boba Fett Fetish, a quirky, yet informative twitter feed, and a vast knowledge of transformers, php, 20 sided dice, SLR cameras, BSG, Assassin’s Creed, CS3, FCP, gadgets, Top Gear, xkcd.com, Leo Laporte… aaand if she happens to look like a model with a perky set of… MBPs… that wouldn’t be the worse thing ever. We wouldn’t want to throw the balance of the world completely off kilter. Let’s face it, the majority of power geeks are still men.

And it was one of these geeks, an uber coding geek, that told me that I could not rightly call myself a geek. Seriously? After all the years I spent pining away in the Ivory Tower waiting for geeks to be cool…and the day finally comes and apparently I’m not “geeky” enough to be part of the club.

But… but… i own like 4 Mac computers and the entire series of Buffy aaaand Angel… i watched the entire Aliens Quadrilogy with special features in one go and I have a Harry Potter poster stuck to my bedroom door…i know a plethora of geeky film trivia and I’m an all-star on mininova and i’m connected to every 2.0 social hot spot and I scrobble the latest indie anthems to lastfm like a hot damn aaand I have more drawers and cupboards dedicated to SLR, video, lighting, music gear and bags and cables and plugs and snoots and gobos than clothes aaaaand I know how to use them. Especially the bags. Put stuff in and go. It’s as easy as pie.

The point is I think I’m pretty geeky. And my hypothesis is that everyone is kinda geeky as well. And so I ask you, my lovely blogging audience:

What kind of geek are you?

Define “geek” for us Wikiworld!

The definition of geek has changed considerably over time, and there is no longer a definitive modern meaning. Here are some of the many definitions:

1. A person who is interested in technology, especially computing and new media. Most geeks are adept with computers.

IMG_4057

So computering — check, new media — check, tech/gadgets — check, 2.0 shizz — check

2. A person who relates academic subjects to the real world outside of academic studies; for example, using multivariate calculus to determine how they should correctly optimize the dimensions of a pan to bake a cake.

Well as not every geeky girl is good at maths and cooking, i’m gonna have to pass on the supreme geekiness that is combining multivariate calculus and baking. I will however provide something equally geeky in my mastered academic subject of linguistics where I hilariously intertwine syntactic trees with sustainability, Denis Quaid, Nim Chimpsky, and Gervais’ monkey news. Now that’s geeky.

I also developed an equally quirky system for organizing clothing using RGB and HSV which I call: Lisa’s Optimum Visual Outcome Method (LOVOM). Now that’s even geekier!

3. A person with a devotion to something in a way that places him or her outside the mainstream. This could be due to the intensity, depth, or subject of their interest i.e film geek, iPhone geek, web design geek or like MAx Fischer, a multi-genre geek.

Lisa with transformers and robot

4. A performer at a carnival who swallows various live animals and bugs.

Oh wikipedia you are full of so many delicious things… But that would be a definite no to swallowing live bugs.

So with so much sweet sweet geekiness to choose from: What kind of Geek are you?

The Perfect Accomplishment

Dec 22 2007

Running your first marathon. Finishing your undergraduate degree. Saving an endangered species from extinction.

All these things are considered an accomplishment. But let’s be honest, these accomplishments leave you feeling completely spent. I mean after running, however long a marathon is, i’m guessing a really long way, like more than 100 Starbucks stretched end to end, you’re all sweaty and thirsty and blistered in places. And at four years a pop and a hefty student loan, completing an undergraduate degree is more mentally scarring than a proper bollocking from Gordon Ramsay. And if i know polar bears like i do, which is quite well as i do live in Canada where we keep the smaller ones as pets, i know that they are a stubborn lot and aren’t really taking this whole “melting of the ice caps thing” too well. (i use quotation marks as it hasn’t really been proven yet. i mean what do you believe, hard scientific and photographic evidence backed by Mr Gore or multi-million dollar cigarette ads?)

In a nut shell, these accomplishments all require hard work, and in this day and age, who wants to work or type full words when you can express every emotion with this: :lol:

i’m happy, i’m laughing, i’m going slightly insane, i’m smiling with my eyes and crying on the inside…

And so without needless exposition i present to you the Perfect Accomplishment:

The watching of an entire season of a tv show episodes back to back as quickly and efficiently as possible.

It’s crazy. It’s wacky. It’s ruining your eyesight, your posture, your bone density and you don’t care because you love it, you relish every hour wasted by this senseless, addictive behavior and you feel pleased by it because it’s so easy and everybody secretly knows it’s not just an accomplishment, it’s the PERFECT accomplishment. and you’re ability to achieve this accomplishment over and over in a short period of time is endless.

Even though it’s technically a holiday, i’ve been busy accomplishing many many things. though i have not done any housework, work work, or made food for myself in over 2 weeks, i have accomplished the following:

  • Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares — Season 2, 3, 4 and 5. Good, simple, rustic food with local produce. F*ck me, that’s delicious!

  • Boiling Point and Beyond Boiling Point. I’ve been properly Ramsayed.

  • Planet Earth — Entire Series Ahh the soothing voice of David Attenborough… take me on a journey from pole to pole exploring the weird and wonderful world of life on this planet… please speak swiftly through the lions eating the elephant and great white shark leaping out of the water whilst munching on a seal snack segments… why do all the cute baby animals have to be eaten by some vicious snaggle-toothed predator? boo!

  • Peep Show — Seasons 1 and 2. “Life’s all pain. Pain, gloom and misery… Hey, 33% extra free. I am doing excellent shopping. My depressed state of mind means being even more frugal than usual.”

    I know what you’re thinking. I’ve basically watched every show on the BBC, which in combination with my obsessive 4 o’clock tea and biscuit behavior, makes me more British than most British people.

  • Lost — Season 3. finally having the dvds in my hot little hands and watching the insanity unfold episode after episode was priceless instant gratification… until the last episode… damn you JJ!!! if you turn this show into another endless and unanswered Rambaldi Riddle i shall be quite displeased.

  • Amazing Race — Seasons 8 and 9. it’s basically like a reality show of fear factor meets the bourne ultimatum without the spying, intelligence, or matt damon. so basically it’s quite useless, except for the fact that it’s ridiculously addictive and the feuding, abusive, money-hungry couples make you feel better about your life.

Aside: When i write all of them out like this it gives me a wee bit of perspective on the colossal amounts of time i’ve been wasting. still better than facebook.

i am currently looking for more things to accomplish. if you can help me on my new years resolution of accomplishing as much as possible, by recommending more seasons, series of good or bad tv shows, documentaries, or reality tv shows i should accomplish, please let me know. and if you feel particularly proud of a recent accomplishment you have achieved (i.e. Tom, 6 days, Scrubs Seasons 1-5), or want to reminisce about your first accomplishment (i.e., Mostly Lisa, > 24 hours, 24 Season 1) please share your stories in the comment section below.

let’s all celebrate in your glory!

Early Halloween Memories

Oct 31 2007

Mostly Lisa, Age 7.

Ahh, I remember it fondly… the year I got orange and black Halloween gum stuck in my long long hair at school. I was sent to the school nurse who tried everything but paint thinner to remove it, but could not. And though I was young, I was smart enough to know that the school nurse was not a hair stylist, and that letting her near my lovely long hair with a pair of rusty old scissors would not end well.

And so, the sticky, orange-flavoured gum remained in my hair, all day, getting more matted and tangled by the second. By the time I returned home from school, there was absolutely nothing that could be done and so my mum chopped a whopping good 6 inches off.

I think it was this traumatic experience that made me decide, quite stubbornly I might add, that I was going to my own clown face painting. You can see from the results that perhaps this was not my wisest decision.



Mostly Lisa's Halloween Memories

15 seconds with Lisa pumpin’ gas into her sweet ride

Oct 4 2007

So after i filled my sweet 1995 Pontiac Firefly with premium gasolina, i headed to auto insurance place to re-insure my car for another year, but it just wasn’t my day…

for starters it was pouring with rain, second i was super hungry, third it was rush hour which in Vancouver is pretty much any time between 8am – 7pm… but from 3pm – 6pm, rush hour becomes uber. uber lame. so i walked into the auto place and was told that i was unable to re-insure my car until my car had passed the AirCare emissions test.

In Vancouver, all cars must be tested for levels of hydrocarbons (HC), carbon monoxide (CO), and oxides of nitrogen (NOx) emissions every two years for cars 1992 or newer or every year for cars 1991 and older. Cost is $45.

so i had to trek all the way to the nearest AirCare station which was in Burnaby (a fair distance away)… finally got there thanks to Blackberry GPS. a lovely lovely thing. i wasn’t allowed to take pictures or vids in the AirCare place, but i was sneaky and grabbed one before i got yelled at by an angry Russian man.

firefly-at-aircare

i felt kinda nervous about my wee little car during the test because if you fail to pass the emissions test you have 2 lovely choices:
(1) send your car to a mechanic and make it more environmentally friendly (cost is approx $600… yikes);
(2) send your car to the scrap heap and take the bus (boo public transit. i’ve been scarred ever since being BC Transit Bus girl for a year.)

Fortunately, my day turned a bit nicer as my little zip zip firefly passed with flying colours (see below).

aircare-pass-firefly

Since 1992, AirCare has reduced vehicle emissions by 71%. Al Gore would be so proud. Just to balance things out, i’m gonna head to my local duck pond and throw some old batteries in the water just to even things out. that was a joke. don’t hate me.

Things that are neat about me

Sep 23 2007

lisa-photo-mosaic

If you haven’t read my about page, you should be ashamed of yourself! Think of all the Mostly Lisa you have been missing out on. So I’m putting it here… front and centre, so you can linger on my smooth wording a little bit longer (and mostly cuz i’m condensing my about page and i can’t bear to toss these eloquent words in the the cyber bin.)

Here are my “neat” things:

I have a Master’s Degree which makes me ok smart. I have “mastered” the arts. All of them. Except the dark arts, because of the whole muggle discrimination thing…

I know a lot about linguistics, especially phonetics, specifically articulatory, acoustic phonetics, and the productive mechanisms involved in early infant speech development. What? Huh??? Exactly. Nobody knows, nobody cares, nobody wants to hire me in that field… hence my quarter-life career switcheroo to creative, fun, and cool things. I still partially consider myself a linguist and love to learn, hear, and think about language. I am quite fond of early infant acquisition, brain and language stuff, and accents… mostly.

PS. Asking a linguist “how many languages do you speak?” is kinda like asking a veterinarian “how many pets do you have?”

If you must know. I speak Russian, Spanish and French… mostly.

I was a nationally competitive figure skater (ice dance) until 2000 when my partner dropped me and I hurt my back and I was forced to quit skating and go back to being a regular university student which made me kinda bitter and a little bit mean… (I guess that’s last bit is something that’s not so neat about me). but every now and again I get a hankering for spandex, sequins, and mini gloves — an impulse that I just can’t ignore.

I’m also an active member of iNeedConstantAttention club, being a Model, (of course!) an Actress (who isn’t?) & a Singer/Songwriter. Ahh, the trifecta of fame, fortune, and eternal self-esteem “issues”. Ain’t it great!

I know what you’re thinking. “She IS perfect. Is there nothing this girl can’t do?” My answer: Not much really. But if you must know, I am a fairly rubbish cook and the last 6 books i read were all children’s books. And, if you must know, I was expelled from Hogwart’s TWICE! So if I master the cooking thing, move on to some heavier reading materials and finish my Potions OWL, I may be close to the “Most Perfect Person Ever”. Either that or the “Most Vain Person Ever”. Which ever. They are both pretty sweet titles.

My Internet Reflection

Sep 18 2007

i think i’m at a point of no return with this whole two point oh social networking scene. i’m fairly certain that if i had to communicate to a person.. in person… i might run away or hide in my hair. which actually happened today.

that’s why i feel like i need to take a step away from the facebook to analyze it’s impact on mostly me.

Self Exploration through fb profile pictures

what does it all mean? how do i censor myself? who am i? do i even exist? how many pixels wide am i? why are my tears so beautiful? am i numb inside or is it merely life that numbs itself to me?

these are common questions we all ask ourselves each day. exploring the “self” is important. i like to reflect on a daily basis. mostly by looking at my reflection in a mirror. but as we all know, your reflection is not always the face you present to the world. we often censor ourselves. essentially creating or equating reality with self. if you didn’t get that, you’re probably not smart enough to read this blog. intellectualism is not for everyone.

anyhoo, um… i need some java… totally falling asleep right now. what was i saying? oh yeah, exploring self and stuff. if you’re up for it, i really recommend an exercise from my 3 part Self-exploration Series, entitled “My Internet Reflection: What is my Facebook Profile Picture really saying?”

The exercise is simple. Look through your fb profile picture album which probably has over 100 photos of you, or 200+ if you are as gorgeous as me, and ask yourself “what is this picture saying about my inner self?”

Here is an example from my own fb self-examination.
The following photos are saying…

“Coordination is important to me.”

Lisa Bettany small business bc

“i heart attention”

Lisa Bettany swimwear campaign

“Please love me”

lisa bettany-swimwear-is-web-2point0

“I can balance a rock on my forehead”

Lisa Bettany Spa

“I like to play the guitar without pants on”

Mostly Lisa i-like-to-play-the-guitar-without-pants-on

“I am definitely a model”

Lisa Bettany modeling Richard Dubois

“I’m so bored right now”

Mostly Lisa waiting at an audition

Now let’s analyze these “truth statements”:

  1. appearance is important to me
  2. being centred and spiritually aware is essential for my growth
  3. music strips away my outer layers
  4. being labeled as a “model” by other people is important because i am vain
  5. vanity isn’t a fault when you are really good looking
  6. you’re probably boring me right now

Now it’s your turn. If I’m not still bored, let me know what your personal exploration into your fb profile picts reveal about you.

British Things

Sep 15 2007

Quaint Streets

quaint streets

Royal Mail

royal mail

Marmite Crisps!!! (seriously, what’s with you and the marmite crisps?!?)

marmite crisps!!!

Pub, Telephone box & Litter bin on Quaint Street Corner.

British Things-1

Multiculturalism.

multiculturalism

Colonialism.

little soldiers

Hanging Carpets. The Lute. Sheep.

playing the lute to an audience of sheep and a dog

School Uniforms.

school uniforms

Auntie Pam’s Sweet Shop.

British Things-5

Cheeky School Boy Pranks.

school boy pranks

Loafers & Jumpers.

loafers and pontzy sweaters

Mostly Lisa in England – Episode 1 “Being Popular”

Sep 3 2007

Lisa’s Doodle. Age 12.

Jul 21 2007

mouse-in-gauss

Based on this you might suppose that I grew up to be a mathematics genius. I didn’t.

I’m absolute rubbish at Maths. Rubbish.

Reading makes you smart.

Jul 19 2007

That’s why I’m currently dusting off some of my favourite books for some “smart” reading this summer. I’ve already put up a sticky on my desktop to remind me that I’m only moments away from sinking my teeth into some quality literature.

summer-reading-to-do-list

My first pick for smart summer reading is definitely:

Hoofbeats: Lara and the Silent Place.

Lara and the silent phase

This book really takes me back to my own “silent place” and the innocence that surrounds me when I’m in said silent place. And then there was silence…

My second pick is the mystery thriller:

The Not-So-Jolly Roger.

not so jolly roger

This book is by far the most mysterious and thrilling episode in the “Time Warp Trio” Series. I like to hide under the covers and read this book with a flashlight whilst eating marshmellows and cheese snacks. Takes you back, doesn’t it?