Archive for the ‘Entertainment’ Category

Mostly 007 & The Quantum of Solace

Nov 11 2008

Revenge is bitter sweet for Bond. In the latest 007 flick Quantum of Solace, Bond is heartbroken and haggard, as he tirelessly pursues the evil villain who killed his recent lover, Vesper Lynd. 

Instead of dealing with these complex emotions in therapy, Bond blows off some steam by chasing down evil villains in cars, boats, planes, motorbikes, and on foot, all the while maintaining an unflappable charm that makes the ladies swoon. But this time Bond isn’t interested in romance. Well, maybe a quickie just for good measure, but love is not in the cards this time out. Even the smoldering Russian-Bolivian temptress, Camille, might have a tricky time peeling Bond out of those skintight, dirty, bloodstained white slacks. Poor fashion choice Bond. If you know you’re going to get in a bloody battle, wear something darker, a deep mahogany perhaps.

Alas, Bond has less time for such sartorial considerations in this dark and gritty installment to the series. Not even a sixth martini at the bar is able to dispel the dark clouds gathered over our favourite super-spy, and that’s saying something. The Big Bad, a mysterious organization known as Quantum, is causing major problems for MI6, and at the heart of it is Dominic Greene, an evil rich guy posing as a philanthropic environmentalist. Let’s just say that Dr. Greene is the type of guy who might take his social responsibility to an extreme – actively recycling paper, plastics, and people parts on a daily basis.

Like Bond’s various nemeses throughout the history of the franchise, Greene takes his plot cues from the top headlines of today. This time, the global threat of peak oil takes centre stage over previous Bondian concerns such as Communist-controlled nuclear missiles, terrorist plots, the dealing of weapons/diamonds/drugs, or weapons that shoot diamonds with drugs in them. Okay, maybe they haven’t made a movie about that last one (yet), but this time the villain is an evil tree-hugger that is green-thumbing his nose at all things good and true with a plot that would leave the whole world at his mercy.

Any outing with 007 is sure to provide thrills, and this film doesn’t waste any time in packing a major punch of adrenalin. The action is fast, furious, and fantastic. Anything a person could drive and blow up was driven and then blown up at some point by our hero. Vroom, vroom, kaboom.

This is definitely the best movie I have seen all year. For my tastes it had a perfect balance of 90% action and 10% showing-off of sleek, fancy gadgets. Also, Daniel Craig is stunning in this movie and his unique physicality, brutish and elegant in turns, makes him the best Bond yet.

What do you think? Who is your favourite Bond?

PS. I still don’t know why they didn’t cast me as evil Bond Girl Irina Secsibuti. What a mystery. I mean they even had a Canadian Bond Girl in Quantum of Solace. I bet her nun-chuck skills are rubbish.

Mostly Madonna

Oct 31 2008


Online Report for The Vancouver Province.

Mostly Lisa’s behind-the-scenes video diary of Madonna’s first appearance in Vancouver at BC Place for her “Sticky & Sweet” tour.

*Video Warning: Excessive aerobicizing and self-inflicted embarrassment. Do not try this in public*

Happy Halloween! Guess what my costume is? It’s tricky, but I know you can do it!

No pants to get in the way of Madonna’s superstardom

Oct 30 2008

nopants madonnaOn the eve of Madonna’s very first appearance in Vancouver, I sit here, wrapped up in a snuggly blanket, wondering how Madge is braving the wet and nippy West Coast weather without pants.

If there’s any ever-present, consistent force in the spectacular, often jaw-dropping 25-year career of the Queen of Pop, it’s the lack of pants.

For Madonna, laced under-things and nude fishnets trump all pants. I’d be genuinely shocked if there was a 3 to 1 ratio of leotards to pants in Madonna’s wardrobe. And hey, who can blame her, the woman could give Olympic gymnastic gold medalist, Nastia Liukin, a run for her money in Spandex’s “World’s Tightest Limbs Competition”.

If you’ve got it flaunt it. And that’s just what she’s done. For better or worse, Madonna has stayed in the harsh glow that is super stardom for over a quarter-century. And she’s done it without ever shaving her head, entering rehab, or attacking anyone with an umbrella. And that’s saying something since she’s lived in Soggy Ol’ Britain for 8 years.

I’ll skip the recent details of her personal life because as you know from my previous Perez Hilton bashing article, I’m not a fan of celebrity gossip. But in this case, I’ll allow one cheesy phrase and say that no ‘pants’ will ever get in the way of Madonna’s superstardom.

I am on pins-and-needles to see what kind of hip-thrusts and alternative disco/pilates moves Madonna pulls out at her sold out show at BC Place Stadium tomorrow night. To be sure, they will be both “Sticky & Sweet”!

I want to hear about what you think of the Queen of Pop

What’s your favourite or least favourite Madonna song, video, movie (*cough*), performance, fashion, publicity stunt, dance move, British saying?

Mostly Illusion with David Copperfield’s Magical Spray-on Hair!

Oct 25 2008


Published in The Vancouver Province.

I really wished I hadn’t sat in the front row at David Copperfield’s “An Intimate Evening of Grand Illusion” at the Vancouver Centre of Performing Arts. If I’d just been sitting a few rows back I wouldn’t have seen the wires that controlled the singing and dancing tie, or the slightly concave bottom of the magical “shrinking table”, or the girl that appeared & disappeared in the “reserved” seat next to me wearing three different outfits, or Mr. Copperfield’s caked on make-up and spray-on hair. Ouch. That was a low-blow.

Maybe I’m just too cynical or I’ve seen “The Prestige” one too many times to be impressed with a duck being tossed on stage from behind the curtain. In Copperfield’s defense, his show was very entertaining, and face-paced enough to keep me off my iPhone for an hour and a half. There were great moments too. He is an incredibly skillful showman, and irritatingly charismatic, even when he made a sexy Eastern European girl shove her hand down his pants to make sure there was nothing in his pocket; not once, but twice. Charming.

I feel a bit naive for expecting to be completely wowed. But I just couldn’t get past the worn, cheap-looking props, the massive amounts of noxious smoke blown into my face, the planted audience members who could hardly manage a smirk at his rehearsed one-liners, and the cheesy-kitchyness of it all. I was far from amazed and bedazzled by the appearance of an old car on tall pillars in the middle of the stage. Because from my angle, I could see that it was a shell of fake car and that DC was fake driving it and the illusion was marred.

How he does a lot of his illusions still remains a mystery to me… mostly. Ok fine. The duck told me. And all it took was an Oh Henry’s bar.

But don’t take my word for it, check out the hair for yourself. The World’s Greatest Illusionist is conjuring up 5 more shows at the Centre for Performing Arts in Vancouver Oct. 25 & 26th.

Perez Hilton is giving Bloggers a bad name

Sep 19 2008

Mostly Monkey Balls...
Article written & published special to the Province.

The fact that mainstream media have made celebrity gossip blogger, Perez Hilton, synonymous with blogging, is one of the greatest tragedies of the web. If you haven’t been introduced to Perez’s particular brand of snarky, childish, eye-gauging celebutrashing, then you are in the minority. According to Nielsen/NetRatings, 1.7 million viewers are happily clicking on PerezHilton.com everyday to get their daily dose of “he got fat, she got fake boobs, they’re engaged, now married, now divorced, and both in rehab” news.

And guess what?

Your shallow addiction to Britney Spear’s cellulite is making Perez rich — and the most famous blogger on the Internet.

In the last few months I’ve seen Perez spring up on the cover and the glossy pages of Rolling Stone, Wired, Time, and People. With the support of mainstream media, Perez’s Internet fame is mutating into TV shows, appearances on popular talk shows like The View, and spawning a whole Internet cesspool of copycat bloggers hoping to cash in on Perez’s success.

The latest celeb blog making a splash on the web is Ashton Kutcher’s South Park-esque, BlahGirls.com. From the man who brought us such quality programming as Punk’d and Beauty and the Geek, we have yet another Perez-cloned site aimed at teenage girls. This is what really gets my knickers in a twist: I understand the potential monetary gain and amusement derived from celeb gossip blogging, but seriously — do teenage girls need to hear any more about Britney flashing her cooch?

The mainstream popularization of trashy, trite, and slovenly written blogs like PerezHilton.com is giving bloggers a bad name.

For many people who aren’t exploring the intense array of intelligent and thought-provoking blogs on the web, Perez might be the only blog they read. And that is one of the great tragedies of the web.
Maybe I am biased. I’m a blogger. Most of my friends are bloggers. I’ve even got my Internet n00b (unskilled user) mother turned on to the idea of keeping an online journal of her recent foray into digital photography. I think that sharing experience, knowledge, and information through first-hand journaling through blogs is an enriching experience for both the author and reader.

Blogs provide a platform for the writer and the reader to strike up an instantaneous discourse through comments which happen in real time.

It’s personal, immediate, and socks you right in the gut if you aren’t careful. It’s freedom of expression at it’s finest. And true, there is a lot of blogging debris on the web, but if more reputable journalists like Matt Taibbi and Anderson Cooper toss their credibility and craft onto the web, hopefully the mainstream will take note and push the crap aside, even if it is crap made from the finest champagne and fair-trade, organic celery sticks.

Opinions & comments? You know where to put ‘em.

Since this was published in the Province this morning, I’ve already received a stack of unimpressed and angry Perez fans. Bring it I say! Plus, in a few hours I’ll be on a plane to Vegas. Should take the sting off.

Oh and if you live in Vancouver, pick up a copy of The Province, my first article may be worth something some day :p