The Perfect Accomplishment

Dec 22 2007

Running your first marathon. Finishing your undergraduate degree. Saving an endangered species from extinction.

All these things are considered an accomplishment. But let’s be honest, these accomplishments leave you feeling completely spent. I mean after running, however long a marathon is, i’m guessing a really long way, like more than 100 Starbucks stretched end to end, you’re all sweaty and thirsty and blistered in places. And at four years a pop and a hefty student loan, completing an undergraduate degree is more mentally scarring than a proper bollocking from Gordon Ramsay. And if i know polar bears like i do, which is quite well as i do live in Canada where we keep the smaller ones as pets, i know that they are a stubborn lot and aren’t really taking this whole “melting of the ice caps thing” too well. (i use quotation marks as it hasn’t really been proven yet. i mean what do you believe, hard scientific and photographic evidence backed by Mr Gore or multi-million dollar cigarette ads?)

In a nut shell, these accomplishments all require hard work, and in this day and age, who wants to work or type full words when you can express every emotion with this: :lol:

i’m happy, i’m laughing, i’m going slightly insane, i’m smiling with my eyes and crying on the inside…

And so without needless exposition i present to you the Perfect Accomplishment:

The watching of an entire season of a tv show episodes back to back as quickly and efficiently as possible.

It’s crazy. It’s wacky. It’s ruining your eyesight, your posture, your bone density and you don’t care because you love it, you relish every hour wasted by this senseless, addictive behavior and you feel pleased by it because it’s so easy and everybody secretly knows it’s not just an accomplishment, it’s the PERFECT accomplishment. and you’re ability to achieve this accomplishment over and over in a short period of time is endless.

Even though it’s technically a holiday, i’ve been busy accomplishing many many things. though i have not done any housework, work work, or made food for myself in over 2 weeks, i have accomplished the following:

  • Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares — Season 2, 3, 4 and 5. Good, simple, rustic food with local produce. F*ck me, that’s delicious!

  • Boiling Point and Beyond Boiling Point. I’ve been properly Ramsayed.

  • Planet Earth — Entire Series Ahh the soothing voice of David Attenborough… take me on a journey from pole to pole exploring the weird and wonderful world of life on this planet… please speak swiftly through the lions eating the elephant and great white shark leaping out of the water whilst munching on a seal snack segments… why do all the cute baby animals have to be eaten by some vicious snaggle-toothed predator? boo!

  • Peep Show — Seasons 1 and 2. “Life’s all pain. Pain, gloom and misery… Hey, 33% extra free. I am doing excellent shopping. My depressed state of mind means being even more frugal than usual.”

    I know what you’re thinking. I’ve basically watched every show on the BBC, which in combination with my obsessive 4 o’clock tea and biscuit behavior, makes me more British than most British people.

  • Lost — Season 3. finally having the dvds in my hot little hands and watching the insanity unfold episode after episode was priceless instant gratification… until the last episode… damn you JJ!!! if you turn this show into another endless and unanswered Rambaldi Riddle i shall be quite displeased.

  • Amazing Race — Seasons 8 and 9. it’s basically like a reality show of fear factor meets the bourne ultimatum without the spying, intelligence, or matt damon. so basically it’s quite useless, except for the fact that it’s ridiculously addictive and the feuding, abusive, money-hungry couples make you feel better about your life.

Aside: When i write all of them out like this it gives me a wee bit of perspective on the colossal amounts of time i’ve been wasting. still better than facebook.

i am currently looking for more things to accomplish. if you can help me on my new years resolution of accomplishing as much as possible, by recommending more seasons, series of good or bad tv shows, documentaries, or reality tv shows i should accomplish, please let me know. and if you feel particularly proud of a recent accomplishment you have achieved (i.e. Tom, 6 days, Scrubs Seasons 1-5), or want to reminisce about your first accomplishment (i.e., Mostly Lisa, > 24 hours, 24 Season 1) please share your stories in the comment section below.

let’s all celebrate in your glory!

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15 Responses to “The Perfect Accomplishment”

  1. OK, so on your recommendation, I started “acquiring through completely legal means” the first season of Kitchen Nightmares. We watched the first episode last night (Italian family disaster) and are officially, totally, completely hooked. Ramsay is brilliant. Mould in the fridge. Italians beating up people they owe money to. Tears. Food. What more could you ask for in a TV show, really?

    I’m assuming you are all caught up on Weeds? Excellent show.

    Planet Earth was awesome…perfectly narrated.

  2. Awesome! You like more British stuff than me. Have you watched Still Game yet? Im told you need to have been to Glasgow or be Scottish to enjoy it but i think you should give it a go.

    My last accomplishment was watching all 10 series of Stargate (yeah…its sad but i like it)in under 3 weeks. Strange thing was i knew all the outcomes for every episode but still enjoyed it.

    My mates and I would always refuse to watch the episodes of 24 on the TV and wait for the DVD to come out. We would start on a sat afternoon and watch all the episodes back to back ordering in food and refreshments when we were running low on energy. Awesome fun. Need to do it again before i leave since i havent seen much of the latest season. Its easier watching an entire season of 24 in one go than watching all 6 star wars or the 3 lord of the ring extended editions in one go. Believe me…ive done it!

    This week…i have mostly been watching My Name is Earl, Battlestar Galactica, Numb3rs and Dear Green Place (another Scottish comedy).

    If you go to http://www.myepisodes.com and fill out all the info it will do the following things for you
    – Give you dates for all shows past and future (rss feeds too)
    – Give you links to tvrage for episode story lines
    – TELL YOU HOW MUCH OF YOUR LIFE YOU HAVE WASTED (is it a waste if you enjoyed it??) IN FRONT OF THE TV.

    Im sitting about 5 months of my life wasted and i havent even put in all the shows i watch.

    Chris

    P.S. Vancity in 27 days! Beginning to think about packing my bags.

  3. Ahem, Scrubs Season 1-6, thank you very much.

  4. 2 days, The O.C. Season 2. deets: 18 hours total, 10 hours one day and 8 the next. i counted.

    a yearly chrismukkah tradition :]

  5. You really should get back to the classics with a show like Seinfeld. That would be a real accomplishment with many useful applications for all the quotables you would pick up in the process. Tomorrow is also Festivus so get your festivus pole out of the crawlspace… It’s a Festivus for the rest of us!!
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Festivus

  6. @Chris: I think she’s a secret Brit wannabe – she likes more Brit stuff than me too…and I actually *am* a Brit.

    Yay Lisa, you packed the pounds on! Great! You look like a big tub-o-lard. Superb!

    BTW: Blade Runner-Super-Duper-Nerd-Version is salaciously fantabulously eccellente. I’ll have to trade it with you for packs of Marmite crisps and Yorkie Bars. Oh, and PLEASE would somebody bring me back some Marks & Sparks chocolate biccies – the ones with the holes in the middle? I’m really craving them and there’s no M&S out here in Vancouver. Maybe Chris you can bring them over…?

  7. Hey!! “melting of the ice caps thing” hadn’t been proved? err.. I think it had been man.. It’s not a debate anymore..
    By the way.. Lost fan ha?? Well, let me ask.. Did you take the future flashback at the end of the last episode of season 3? Because I didn’t. They have to do another 3 seasons with 16 epis each so I don’t think they’ll get off the island anytime soon.

  8. thats a great line up of shows!
    I have yet to see the planet earth, cant wait till I do though
    I watched entourage S1&2 after my last exam about a week ago, it was nice to relax. Now home for the holidays and the madness begins again.

  9. @Kris — Kitchen Nightmares (UK) is basically the perfect show. And with 5 seasons to acquire through completely legal means, you can fill almost 2 whole days with Mr. Ramsay’s delicious language.

    @Chris — Stargate! wow. that requires a loooot of dedication. as you might already know, SG is filmed in lovely Vancity. As is BSG. I tried soooooo hard to get on that show as it is one of my fav shows. plus, i think i’d make a pretty wikkid cylon. but alas, it was not meant to be. there’s still smallville. it’s pretty much a given that if you’re a Vancouver-based actor, you’re gonna end up at the Daily Planet sooner or later.

    i’m currently watching 24 season 6. since i don’t have cable, i only watch shows after they’ve come out on dvd or ahem on the torrents. i cannot staaaand commercials and i haaate cliff hangers. sooo lame. i wanna know now!

    but have you watched the LOTR extended edition’s extra features back to back? cuz that’s some serious time commitment. but so worth it when Viggo buys that girl a horse and she cries about it. and then everybody cries at the wrap party.

    @Tom — right 1-6. how could i forget the 6th, pivotal season of Scrubs. shame on me.

    @Mel — The OC is one show i’ve yet to accomplish. something about Misha Barton’s insipid little face that just winds me the wrong way. PS. Happy Chrismukkah!

    @Nate — Festivus and I parted ways 5 years ago after a particularly brutal feat of strength landed me in the hospital with a broken leg.

    @djh — i took a quiz yesterday that determined i was “Bloody British” which is the most British a person could be. so the proof is in the pudding. mmm pudding. wouldn’t mind a nice heaping bowl of pudding.

    i dooo happen to have a few packs of Marmite crisps straight from the Bury St. Edmunds’ TESCO. i’m running a wee bit low on Yorkies at the moment (aside: what are so great about them anyway? they are just chocolate. i thought they’d have nuts or a prize in the middle. but as it turns out, just chocolate. so you and all your man-like counterparts can have ‘em!) i remember those Marks and Sparks biscuits from my childhood, but haven’t seen one in yonks. i shall have to search them out on my next tour of Britain.

    @Mindblogger — so they are melting? you sure? positive? well, i guess i’ll take your word for it. and on LOST i’m actually did take the ending at face value. i mean it’s JJ. have you seen Season 5 of Alias? or the last episode of Felicity? JJ loves playing with time and odds are he will veer towards the unexpected.

    @Compose — i remember exams…. i used to write them before i started watching tv all day, well actually that’s a lie, because whilst writing my thesis i had ER, Buffy, Angel or Alias playing in the background. i always felt that hearing the medical lingo in ER made me smarter and the constant sound of sirens kept me from falling asleep.

    PS there are 2 more seasons of Entrourage. perfect for post turkey laziness.

  10. Hey Lisa,

    Merry Christmas and congratulations on all of your own unique accomplishments in 2007! You are going to take over the world in 2008 and I am amazing at how much you manage to pack into each week.

    Your acting career is soaring, Redpilot is kicking ass! You are a Vancouver supermodel, a talented photographer, and a great person to boot.

    Happy Days and lots of love,

    Joanna

  11. Ahem. Lisa, I’m disappointed that you haven’t included the absolutely agonizing joy of re-watching ALL the Buffy episodes.

  12. @LB This post has made me realise how much i rely of the TV for entertainment!

    Entourage is awesome…and you should go back and watch Buffy. The SFX are so lame!

    I applied for a Runners job on the BSG effects team but didnt hear back. Prob cause I dont live in Canada yet.

  13. @Carrie — i am almost ready for my quarter yearly reunion with the Scooby gang. i did a full run-through this summer that lead into a harry potter marathon before the Order of Phoenix came out. but don’t fear, whenever i feel a little blue, i think what would Buffy do?

    @Chris — by so lame you mean so awesome! you have to admit the dusting of vampire effect did significantly improve over the years… unfortunately, sarah michelle geller’s ability to run in leather pants did not.

    @djh — noooooow you tell me. nuts are totally worth a battle of the sexes. makes sense now.

  14. I like this idea. I accomplished DEXTER SEASON 1 last month as a regular ritual with friends. If you have any doubts about how disturbed you might be, watch this show, find yourself routing for a serial killer, and be confirmed.
    -TS

    Aside from planet earth, The Office on both continents, & the complete LOTR extended features (Viggo making out with Sean!), I haven’t accomplished much…..

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